I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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