I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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