I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
