Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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