it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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