he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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