People with herpes should wear stickers.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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