just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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