Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
