This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
