Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she told me i tasted like america
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
