Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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