Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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