Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
