the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
