I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
