Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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