he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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