first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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