we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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