I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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