Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
