my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize