i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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