My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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