Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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