god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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