can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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