Say something about gay babies.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
