Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
