fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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