I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
