Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
