It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
