Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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