therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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