She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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