I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
