Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
