Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
