Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
