She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
this is an emotional support booty call
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
