Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
