Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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