And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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