There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it glows. i had to have it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
