We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
