That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
