okay pat passed out under dana's car
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Congratulations! We have a period
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
