dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
