I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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