We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my shit smells like andre
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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