Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
