What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
