That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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