I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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