Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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