He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize