THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
