next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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