Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
