it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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