Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
